I am the perfect weight...for a 6 foot tall person. I blame food. If food wasn't so good, I wouldn't be fat. I'm not prejudiced; I love broccoli just as much as I love cake. There isn't much I won't eat and I eat super human sized portions. I tell myself I have a tapeworm. And Mr. Tapey has an appetite like Donkey Kong.
We have 'Health Screenings' each year at work. This is supposed to promote good health and a proactive approach to potential medical problems like high blood pressure, cholesterol, and all that funtastic stuff. I recognize this 'Screening' for what it truly is; an opportunity to accept the reality that I am a fat ass and feel like crap for the rest of the day. This year, I had a little victory to tuck away in my good-things-that-sometimes-happen closet; I graduated from obese to overweight. I left the health counselor (who apparently also had a tapeworm issue, but somehow was hired to offer advice to us "large boned" folks) and felt kind of happy. Then I saw the plate of cookies someone had brought in and wondered how many I could consume before hitting the obese category again.
I never had a problem with weight until I got pregnant. In fact, I just recently stopped using the excuse of "I just had a baby" because...well...he is almost ten. It's a vicious little cycle really because I also never had boobs growing up. I'd like to keep the boobs...they present a certain level of entertainment and as long as they stick out further than my stomach, I tell myself things are alright. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with much of a backside...I have deep envy for J Lo and Kim Kardashian's posteriors. Why that area didn't grow with the weight gain, I don't know, but I keep praying that all the extra will just eventually decide it would be happier living on my island of butt. It's warm...unpopulated...quiet...kind of like Brookings.
Being fat is weird. I don't really feel fat. In my mind, I still look like I did when I was 16. Then I see a photo and wonder who brought the double-chinned girl to the party before finally realizing that she is in fact, me.
I do exercise. Unfortunately, once a month doesn't constitute much of a fitness program. I think about exercising a LOT, though. One day, I think the people who invented Wii and Kinect will come out with a fat burning thought game...like...you can dream about exercising and you'll actually burn calories. You wake up skinnier each day (probably sweaty too and that needs to be reconsidered in the next edition).
That is my ramble for today. Stay tuned. And remember, fat people are more fun to hug.
